Merry Christmas

As I explained last year I don’t work Fridays, and college is closed until a.d. iv non. ian. mmvii. So, merry Christmas and a happy New Year! To keep you going, I offer a choice of Christmas cracker joke:

1. A group of chess contestants in a hotel reception are bragging about how good they are. The manager asks them to leave as he doesn’t want “Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer”

   Source: Gordon, Birmingham, a comment to Your favourite Christmas cracker jokes, Telegraph.co.uk

2. What do you do if a kitten spits at you?
   Turn the grill down

   Source: Cristmas Crackers by Rob Manuel. Warning: this is one of the pleasanter ones.