Pope announces England win

The Pope, or the lay preacher for the Unitarian church of Rome as he is now called, has admitted that Martin Luther did in fact have a point. Speaking at the opening of the city’s first public convenience for bears, he went on to congratulate the English football team for holding their nerve and not throwing away victory with minutes to go and sparing the poor fans the ordeal of watching the English have to win two matches to scrape through to the second round of the European Championship.